You've been a part of me for so long
Extricating myself from the ball of twine
That we had so intricately woven over
A short and lengthy period
On so many levels
Feels so, so wrong

You were my greatest inspiration
For love
The soul in my rhyme 
Without you they would have been empty words
Drawn from a place with no warmth, no feeling
No sunshine

There was always, when I fell
When I never told you how...
A voice, your laugh, a smile 
Just a thought
Got me up and through the rain
You made me stronger
More powerful
You were always
An antidote for my unseen pain
I may never get that back

There were days when I longed…
To walk on the dark side of me
Surrender to forces you
Never asked about and perhaps
Will never understand
I'd only go so far
The love I found in you
Tempered my passion
For blood
Curbed my lust for war
I am not a man who craves the ordinary
I could never make you see that
So I sat helpless
As you grew impatient
And we got closer to an unavoidable sunset

There will be days that I dread
Numbers like fourteen and nineteen
Days when I will wish for the calendar
To skip the month of February 
Days when I'll sit with a pen and
Feel the words elude me
Days when I'll be haunted by your memory
Excruciatingly

You've been a part of me for so long
There is no right
No wrong
In the end I've failed and passed another test
Perhaps it's best
The two words you didn't say
Please Stay
The gate is always open
But the door is closed
It's dark in here
And without your hand
I'll dance without fear
And that's the only thing that scares me
It'll pass...

It's what I am
But...
I will love You
Always
and 
Regret
Always

Our Final Sunset

Suryani