Darkness
Complete
Hard
Thick and deep
Permeating the uniform
As annoying as sand in a desert storm
Filling your head
Your heart and soul
Moving slowly towards the center of that
Intangible black hole
Lying in your mother arms
Wishing for death
Frustration and regret
Conquered
Left in limbo
Your fate
You don't know
The big gray spaceship
Your savior
Ghosted
Within shouting distance
They can't see, but you can still feel her
And inch or a light year
The irony
It is and it is not there
The woman with you is broken
Not physically
Years of running
Living and breathing on the edge 
Have deflated the once mighty sails
Listening to the silent tears
Still waters
Compounding your fears
It's okay ma, you'd like to say
But rule number one
Warriors don't cry and they sure as hell don't pray
You suffer and keep it inside
Head held high, dying with pride
Much, much later
Feel yourself falling
As a star gate closes another is opening
Like so much trash
Transporting…
Another unwanted body
A far distant galaxy

The Ghost of failings past
Another December
Redemption is approaching fast

J I L S

Musing