It's a dark place.
A quiet place.
A lonely place.
A tumultuous place.
Filled with shadows and
negative vibes.
Yet I come here willingly, from
time to time.
The inner recesses.
Of my warped and hyperactive mind.

Loves me.
Loves me not.
I'm sure she does.
Positive.
Well, about ninety-nine percent so.
Want her, need her.
Can't live without her.
I think it's time to let her go.

I'm a disinterested observer.
A willing participant.
My slow demise via self-torture.
She's my girl.
My world.
The best damn thing that's ever happened to me.
Thrilled beyond words.
Morbidly unhappy.

It's like a bad fever.
Insalubrious.
Engaged in a drama.
Playing both prosecutor and defense.
Flat out asinine.
From in here it makes perfect sense.

Last time was the absolute last.
Closed and padlocked the door 
on my way out.
Yet here I am again.
My own worst enemy.
My very best friend.
Once bitten they say, 
twice shy.
Battling my daemons.
Stake in my heart. 
A tear in my eye.

Throwing pitches and calling outs.
Hideously unfair.
But, 
I've got my doubts.

It's a dark place...

Doubts - copyright © 2001 Ahkenaton  All rights reserved